Just took my first practice exam today, as required by my school’s “learning community”. I flunked it, of course, because we haven’t covered all of this year’s material yet.
I truthfully think it was counterproductive for me to take that exam; I’ve been in a funk all day because of how poorly I did, and it’s been hard for me to focus on basically anything aside from how stupid I am.
I dislike being required to do things that were meant to be optional; there’s no reason why I should be taking a practice test on stuff I haven’t learned yet. Sigh.
I can’t even be open with my classmates about this stuff, because there’s always that one guy/girl who can’t just empathize with you–they just have to talk about how they found the test “easy” or how they did really well on it.
That’s a huge reason why I mostly keep to myself in medical school; it’s often that people will do whatever they can to make themselves feel superior to others, even if that means putting others down. It’s disturbing and honestly really sad.
Anyway, that’s what I’ve been dealing with on this otherwise lovely Sunday. I’m really not looking forward to being forced to discuss the results of my practice test with my peers during learning community; I also really don’t want to create a plan with their help either. Why can’t my journey be personal and kept between my mentor and myself?
My Medical School Experience 